With each step i take, i hope to get to the finish line to this dark tunnel of paranoia…
But each step seems to take me a mile backwards.
A magnetic pain I can’t seem to distance from.
lost confidence, plot twists i fail to understand.
I love happy endings, but this story’s “in media res” technique makes it look more like an advanced tragedy.
My pen wonders if its abandoned…
but the truth is i don’t wanna burn papers with brutality.
sorrounded by people but pain seems like my only home.
if time heals tell me why my clock is at a stand still.
healing never ends so I’ve learnt to find comfort and make a home in my brutal pain.
I’m not myself and I know it
I’m invaded, subconsciously being controlled
willingly obsessed, little voices in my head, silent nights, deep thoughts, drowning hallucinations, wild imaginations….
bad bad type of influence……
self denial, in-between the lines of indecision, draining, dying, tired, sad that i can’t decipher
i got the bad type of butterflies
and it’s bad influence to my soul.
I am “me”, my mind and my heart
“me” in two voices
my mind and me
my heart and me
it’s always a struggle
which should I listen to??
my mind thinks straight, cuz obviously……..
my heart thinks deep……
i need to loose one to have “me”
loose my mind or my heart
“me” is confused
i want to listen to my heart, but i hate listening to my mind say “i warned you” Everytime i come crying back.
i don’t wanna go from ” me” to an foreign island of crowded emotions.
my heart always entices me, scoring points, breaking
“me” to pieces at the end.
i hate the fact that my heart is always right
my mind thinks straight.
my heart thinks deep.
it’s “me”, my mind, and my heart
and it’s still a struggle…….
I am a little girl with a big God, a big dream and a big thirst for a grand future.
you can pin me down, cage me behind those walls of hatred but still like a roaring lion i break through, ruling like a queen in her jungle I am unstoppable.
I am boldness in human form.
The envy you can’t get over
The fake lies and hate speech that falls on deaf ears because I am a sensation of Elegance.
It hurts you cuz the hatred burns yet lightens up my shine, my glow, my sparkle.
That scowl on your face can’t dim this soul’s light.
The stumbling blocks you throw at me trying to bring me down, but I leap, I keep steady, go deep, take a peep at the heap of success that awaits me at the peak.
I am that pen that never stops writing.
Igniting the fire within, I keep fighting, rewriting, and sighting the greater end that awaits.
I am a body of United words speaking truth yet seeking to be heard
A smile next a cry yet I rise.
From the ashes of Burnt dreams reincarnated and formed to a stronger and more determined version of vision I have.
I am that purpose without a timeline.
I align with the baseline of a structured dream of greatness indescribable.
I self-prescribe an inevitable success exclusively meant for me.
I am the next headline with the caption “record broken”, “unraveled mystery”, “history written” with the power of my pen.
I am writing my way to history cuz I’m telling HIS story and everywhere that I go I shine in HIS glory because I am ROYALTY.
Time heals they say…
but memories remind and scars remain
difficult to move on with a smile,
ignorance and denial to the heart,
walking through life after an eruption and putting on an act of strength and neutrality when deep down a hole dug and hot lava spilling out…
but Time they say heals…
the liquid within cooling down as the clock ticks, and poetry giving remedy to the soul.
This creates a chance for hope, a chance to smile genuinely again.
A chance to step on “grey lava”