Tag Archives: thoughts

Poetry To Me

poetry to me
I never really understood the concept of poetry.
never took classes, master the process or guidelines or learn “the art”. i would always write what I wanted, and fall back on poetic license.
poetry was never a planned journey for me. it was finding out my habitat, it was discovering my world and the freedom I had to color it with words that my heart would spit out. raw, unfiltered words.
See my definition of poetry isn’t something you’d find in books. you could even look in-between the lines and I’m sure you wouldn’t see it like I do.

poetry to me is home in a house , it is finding a subtle definition to every expression I pen down. it is taking my emotions and weaving it into something special, something coded and if you could decipher, poetry to me is letting you into my world, it is walking you through every word, every breath, every measure i took to measure how much I spilled, how much i poured out without holding back. poetry to me is an escape. an immediate jail Break from every prison cell reality seems to trap me in. from the hands of pain without realization poetry is my solace, my peaceful abode. the only soft spot to land back on after a rough ride. poetry is my reality, my lifestyle. it is holding back when you should let go, it is believing without evidence. poetry is finding what bemuses my muse, picking up clues, breaking out from my blues, cleaning up my bruises and choosing not to give up.
poetry is the story line of my life long before discovery. with events unfolding like the lines of a perfectly crafted piece, one with suspense at the expense of an intense plot twist. poetry is the unpredicted outcome of a thriller. and when you didn’t see it coming poetry is saying “i don’t give up”. poetry is picking up my pen, finding my muse and amusing amazingly.
poetry is the multi colors in me that I use to paint my world.

The pain and the cure


If I had to be the reason you get hurt
if I had to be the reason you shed a tear
if I had to be the reason your fears turn into reality.
if I had to be the reason you have sleepless nights, the reason you feel remorse, and an entangled feelings of both wishes and pain
if I had to be the reason you “want to” but “can’t”
if I had to be the reason you don’t feel peace or ur heat gets troubled
if I had to be the reason you so much want to agree I’m the bad guy but still cannot
if i had to be the one to inflict pain and yet still be the cure countless times then i……
speechless, cause words can’t defend me, neither can I try to cover up.
as plain as it could be, I have to draw a picture that could at least help me explain the abstract reasons to you…. like a tree with blue leaves, or how your shadows have to go solo on the sidewalk as I fade into reality’s permanence.
maybe i could use written words to draw a mental picture of how this residence is stamped permanent, of how the other version could be much better, of how i plan to repay every hurt with the deepest kind of happiness and laughter.
let me use my words to paint that picture and tell you that I’ll always add color, even when everything seems grey.
and I know we’re the black and white lovers but I’ll open up our eyes to colors that would cover up that grey spots… and just as a rainbow comes after the storm, let me go hunting for colours that would make up your rainbow. i promise that this version won’t expire, no need for updates because I’ll place us on premium subscription. i know I’m the pain and cure.
if it had to be this way then let me be the cure in a whole different dimension. only then will i completely forgive myself.

“SHEEPS AS WOLVES”

In the hidden depths of the woods, a thought lingers:
“If wolves can disguise in sheep’s clothing, could sheep wear the wolf’s guise?”

In the tangled maze of secrets, where truth blurs,
Do gentle sheep cloak themselves in the wolf’s shadow?
Or does only the wolf, in its solitary prowls,
Embrace the sheep’s guise, to set the prey in a deceitful array?

Oh, inquirer of mysteries, amidst the predators howls lies the prey in disguise.
Reflect upon this notion, where the dreadful seems harmless.
wolves among the fold? Or Sheep as wolves
In the enigma of life, stories untold.

Peace From My Prince Of Peace

I was lost, broken, without hope
a heavy heart with no escape route
Those nights I cried myself to sleep
screamed out in prayers, until it sounded like a rebel
I was in an ocean sinking in my tears
lost the will to live
voices in my head I couldn’t decipher
I was walking on a stormy path
a path that stole my sanity
but I willingly staggered along, hoping to find a resting place
my sight always blury from the constant tears in my eyes
I couldn’t see clearly…funny how I Saw The light on the other side but I embrace the darkness hoping there was a brighter light at the end of the tunnel. But I realised that the “tunnel” soon turned into a dungeon, a dark dark dungeon…
robbed me of my peace, sanity and true happiness I turned back and still Saw The light at the other side calling me to a realm of renewed hope
but I was trapped in my own chaos
In brutal pain…
but HE sent out an army to rescue me
HE has given me a chance to smile from the deepest part of my heart again
HE has given me peace
HE has given me hope
indeed I’ve got peace that makes no sense….
from my PRINCE OF PEACE.

PAINFUL GRATITUDE

Dear society,
you’ve crippled my words, tied down my speech, and burnt down my license.
you’ve slapped my dignity, questioned my honesty, and drowned my happiness in a pool of tears and anxiety.
Dear society… I’m surprised…
my jaws dropped down in shock,
cold hands, cold feets in fear,
my smile, my laughter unreal,
dark nights I faced, silent screams i heard in echoes.
Dear society,
yes, you broke me, but thankfully, left pieces, hoping i would decrease, but those were bridges, a treatment to my bruises.
so dear society…. thank you…..
For building a stronger version of me.

From Nowhere

At this point, I’m not sure what to write about anymore. I’ve been battered, shattered, scattered… Life has been rough, tough, cruel with no fuel to carry me on.

My dreams, my passion, my zeal all lost to the the hands of inconsistency but this non-chalancy isn’t derived from the lack of will, not from the lack of inspiration, cause every experience comes with a dozen paragraphs package painted with pain prescribed to every word printed out, to every drop of ink flowing out from the pen that never runs dry….. Or so I said…..

This pen harbours stories wanting to be told so badly but lacks an initiating point, a prologue to sentences crafted from sincerity. So it stays pregnant with thousands of untold stories until it can’t contain no more, so i start from nowhere, hoping to get to somewhere, hoping to be heard, hoping you would decipher…..

BAD INFLUENCE


I’m not myself and I know it
I’m invaded, subconsciously being controlled
willingly obsessed, little voices in my head, silent nights, deep thoughts, drowning hallucinations, wild imaginations….
bad bad type of influence……
self denial, in-between the lines of indecision, draining, dying, tired, sad that i can’t decipher
i got the bad type of butterflies
and it’s bad influence to my soul.


“I AM”


I am a little girl with a big God, a big dream and a big thirst for a grand future.
you can pin me down, cage me behind those walls of hatred but still like a roaring lion i break through, ruling like a queen in her jungle I am unstoppable.
I am boldness in human form.
The envy you can’t get over
The fake lies and hate speech that falls on deaf ears because I am a sensation of Elegance.
It hurts you cuz the hatred burns yet lightens up my shine, my glow, my sparkle.
That scowl on your face can’t dim this soul’s light.
The stumbling blocks you throw at me trying to bring me down, but I leap, I keep steady, go deep, take a peep at the heap of success that awaits me at the peak.
I am that pen that never stops writing.
Igniting the fire within, I keep fighting, rewriting, and sighting the greater end that awaits.
I am a body of United words speaking truth yet seeking to be heard
A smile next a cry yet I rise.
From the ashes of Burnt dreams reincarnated and formed to a stronger and more determined version of vision I have.
I am that purpose without a timeline.
I align with the baseline of a structured dream of greatness indescribable.
I self-prescribe an inevitable success exclusively meant for me.
I am the next headline with the caption “record broken”, “unraveled mystery”, “history written” with the power of my pen.
I am writing my way to history cuz I’m telling HIS story and everywhere that I go I shine in HIS glory because I am ROYALTY.

“GREY LAVA”

Time heals they say…
but memories remind and scars remain
difficult to move on with a smile,
ignorance and denial to the heart,
walking through life after an eruption and putting on an act of strength and neutrality when deep down a hole dug and hot lava spilling out…
but Time they say heals…
the liquid within cooling down as the clock ticks, and poetry giving remedy to the soul.
This creates a chance for hope, a chance to smile genuinely again.
A chance to step on “grey lava”

LOST DREAMS


If only things could be more clearer.
a broad explanation to these tears.
cause this time even my fears have been dethroned to a Lower tier of my pain.
betraying every last statement written down on this hearts manifesto.
with this mind working under a government overtaken by a coup, its a dictatorship, such a conundrum.
breathing, but just not living…
dating back to the uncivilized days before sir lord lugard freed us from the shackles of shattered dreams.
yet till this day i still can’t put together the pieces.
its like a puzzle, only that the pieces of mine seems to be lost in an ocean of apathetic passion.

GLIMPSE FROM GUTS


The light visible at the end of each shadowed pipe.
The ending that seems unreal but takes reality on an unusual surprise.
The confidence you think is void but suddenly shows up.
The hope that comes with the desire to fight. The desire to hang tight and not give up.
The rage and anger that results in a fight against ugly situations that seem to cripple and cut short the beautiful smiles.
The positive “maybe” and “hopefully” that stands in front of each sentences spreading toxic fumes that neutralizes the fear within. dark shadows in darkness.
who dares for a smile?
prohibited words…. joy
atrocity? no! i dare
This is glimpse from guts.


I WRITE, I WISH I ACT


i write…..
they say with passion
with words that comes alive within each line with words that roar out truth
with twisted feelings, retwisted but still understood within those unseen lines.
I write….
they say with raw words
unfiltered and so much relatable
with words surprisingly consoling your bottled feelings
I write…….
words I wish would console my own bottled feelings
I write, I wish I act
touching terms torturing souls triggering pain
I wish I could be at the receiving end absorb and be consoled
I write to mend your soul not necessarily mine
I mend, I wish, I self console
I write, I wish I act


THINGS UNSAID


if only I could put everything This Heart of mine feels into words,
but the little unsaid details are never determined by inabilities or reluctancy
but by the overdose of certainty and the power of few, unfiltered words that produces unseen lines between visible paragraphs
the unseen words that gets sensed so strong and obviously
the unsaid but familiar lines that forms a formidable and undiluted consent for pondering
things unsaid yet more vividly real.

WITH EACH BREATH

everyday I open up my eyes and discovered that dreams and reality just don’t get along too well
but the truth is undeniable and regardless wishes aren’t horses
I breathe in and out a thought repeatedly. close my eyes and all I see is a reoccurring trail of plain wishes as impossible as a wet rock under the sun
and I could never settle for a defeat
cuz these exhales speaks truth in unspoken words only audible to us
with every breath I wish…..
unspeakable feelings sense within
and every time I look into the waters
I see a reflection of reality worth turning to dreams
or rather….. dreams worth turning into reality with each breath I take in, it’s an impossible plain wish.

She is danger craved for

she said everything would be fine
she said in a million years to come she would still choose the unexpected
she was such an easy to fall for type
she uses black magic
she confuses one with her killer smile
she makes the crowd and “him” go crazy
she’s quite toxic, everyone “wants” her thinks they “need” her
until they realize her toxic fumes spreads and cripples
she isn’t to be loved or tampered with
she isn’t what she thinks of herself
and neither is she what others think of her.
she is danger craved for.

BLEEDING LOVE

they said love doesn’t hurt
they said all good things about love
a word so complicated
a four letter word that forms a forum of complications
a love that cuts so deep
a love that hurts so bad
it’s love anyways but it’s different
it’s an experiencial emotional torture
but you keep yearning for more
oh! sweet pain
clearly piercing through but you embrace the pain and hope for a better tomorrow
and “uncertain tomorrow”
and though joy comes in the morning
sunrises day by day
but you keep waiting for the morning everything will seem just fine
it’s A Love so pure
but it’s a bleeding Love.


ART & SOUL: MY ART IS “ME”

my art is a definition of “me”
my art is the deepest reflection of my feelings thoughts and emotions
my art doesn’t give an absolute substitute to who I am
but gives a dissolute version of me
my art defines the true, inner me,
the part you can only get to know through the lines
my art is deeply connected to my soul
it defines art and soul
my art is me.


ART & SOUL: MY ART IS SIMPLICITY IN ITS DEPTH

my art is in its simplest form yet has a “well-depth” meaning
my diction is straight forward but get you self- pondering
my art might not be “vocabulary based” but its fact-based
hits deep down to rock bottom
reawakens that feeling you have become friends with for a long time
and might be therapeutic!
my art might not be considered “award-winning” but it’s soul winning
so look through this soul’s sincerity
and discover simplicity in its depth.


ART & SOUL: MY ART IS EXPRESSIONLESS

my art is expressionless
in its most expressive form yet speechless in a familiar voice
my art tells you what you know already
it opens up those bottled feelings yet finds it hard to put it to words
my art is here for you even in its silence
connect to these words and free up the pain hidden in your pride
my art is expressionless in the most expressive way.


ART & SOUL: MY ART IS A SHOWCASE OF UNIQUENESS


my art is a showcase of uniqueness
cinema of my special individuality
a perfect distinction in the most intriguing manner
an amazing prologue that gets you stuck to your seats
my art is uniqueness at its peak
my art is conceptional In an exceptional way
my art is a showcase of uniqueness
welcome to my cinema


ART & SOUL: MY ART IS RELATABLE

my art is relatable
my art takes you on a journey
views of genuine sincerity
gets you acquaint with the bitter reality you’ve been hiding from
my art is a blunt version of Truth unhidden on these lips of mine
do not mistake my art for acrimony
my art is actuality
my art is relatable.


ART & SOUL: MY ART IS PHENOMENAL

my art is phenomenal
it’s not to be downgraded nor downtrodden
it’s not your regular “type-usual”
my art is a seed of greatness that blooms everyday
my art is phenomenal
my art is beyond imaginations of greatness
it’s unbelievably interesting
my art is a creative silhouette
my art will surely “woah” you
my art is phenomenal.


“ODDNESS”


sometimes I wonder if I think like other humans.
I think about odd things.
I act in an odd way…
one might tag it as craziness and another might tag is as uniqueness.
yes mistakes are inevitable, but my mistakes are “priceless”.
odd right?
it’s like my life is replaying right before my eyes
if only I could press the fast-forward button, get to the interesting part.
“c’mon I knew this will happen……..”
“uhh!! I’m not surprised……..”
between the “why??” and the “oh noo!!”
is the “chill the end is perfect”
and along the way, parts worth replying in a million times.
if my life was a novel, you will get lost between the pages and get back on track at the last 10 pages.
crazy ain’t it?
if my life was a movie, you would impatiently anticipate the ending.
and so I’ll let it play on and look forward to the ending.


“REMINISCE”


I once wrote about my difference with so much confidence, undaunted and certain it was a unique one.
I once said I don’t listen to how people say the world works.
never knew I would be in a state of total give up. never knew I would be looking for the real me.
so?? I make odd choices.
so?? I look beyond the surface.
it’s cruel that society has made some certain ideologies, cultures crafted by what we consider “norms”
I want to be different.
I want to be recorded as the unique one.
stand out from the crowd,
dig out the truth to the surface.
repaint that wrong picture and show you why diamonds are rare and are found underneath the ground.
I want to be me, but society wants me to be a replica of humans,
play a role as part of the ideologically accepted human crafted culture.
I want to make a difference, discover, and explore but society is content with just the human routine achievements.

But what if I was made to achieve something much more than that?

“Writing”

I used to think that writing is a skill.
I used to think I just had to hit those punchlines to be great, had to be outstanding and a pro.
but I got to realize the greatest version of a writer is the unedited version, those parts where you just want to be you and pour it all out.
no rhymes, no perfect similes, no poetic lines.
That moment you have this absolute “whack” piece and you look down on it and about to shove it aside and then you realize that by just mere Reading it, you experience the feeling. “that feeling”
let Me be poetic!
that feeling that kills the doubts in you and buried them in self-appreciation.
that feeling that awakens the realness in you and tells it you are amazing! keep doing better!
that feeling that takes all your faulty and “not so poetic lines”, your spelling errors, your doubts and self depreciation, and all your perverted ideas and weaves it into a masterpiece a beautiful art that lets people in through the door of words
then makes the room conducive through the windows of imperfection.

I used to think writing is skill, but i discover that writing is an undiluted expression.

The future I picture

This is the story of my “blink-of-an-eye” future. I like to close my eyes and picture a future with lots of echoes from applauses, standing ovation from the crowd, as I stand on that iconic stage putting on that “I knew I’ll make it” smile on my face and a deep sense of fulfillment resting within me.
A future where I could sit and reminisce with those amateur draft that form the foundation for an award-winning icon.
A success themed future where the word of the day would be “congratulations”!!
A future where I could be a source of inspiration to the former “me”.
As I open up my eyes, I get awakened by the realization that I have a lot to do in accord to that future.
I get fueled up for greatness!!

“Crazy ain’t it?”

Phew!! It's crazy ain't it?, Who am I expecting to answer this..... 
Go on....you could call it being unserious, undetermined, unable to reach my goals, set my eyes on the gold that brightens up my future and nothing less, a quench for greatness....
But this soul has been glitched, downtrodden under the fist of self paranoia. Where every glimpse of greatness have been erased, not even an echo of all the encouragement that strives me on. From a distance I have a blurred vision, but coming closer with just a blink of an eye it has vanished like it was never there.......
Crazy ain't it?
Cuz everyone else sees it so clear as crystal
But I don't.....
I've been on a journey, of thousands miles in thousand ways treacherous.  Could Sail through an ocean of possibilities but decided to buy a plane ticket.
Crazy ain't it?
Funny how my mind seems to paint a picture from a drop of unfiltered paint.
Funny how my visuals seems so clear but pictures a blurred version of reality....
Funny how I seem okay and the next moment I feel like a thousand tangled threads....  Unable to get straight.
So when I ask "crazy ain't it?"....... Don't worry it's not meant to be answered.
And one thing I really hope for is fuel to fire on
Burn down this jungle of self paranoia, tear off that page of limitations, and paint a clear picture from the most refined paint.
It's been "a journey"..... Literally.
And I might just tell you about it.

Hey! Just a drop of reassurance is all this soul needs….. Wanna hear about “the journey”?

Guilty pleasures

Cut it off!
All lies!
Stop this pretence under this defense the only context of words you seem to compel me with.
It's bad but it's good
It's wrong but it's right
Your not supposed to do it, but your not supposed to trip either
Common!
It's the gaslighting for me!
You act like you care, and make me compare the obvious.
It's not like I'm oblivious of the fact that it's temporary.
It's temporary, but permanently creates a contemporary image in my mind.
Stop with the contemplating! 
But why do I still want you to consider it anyway??
You made this image
And now it doesn't seem to fade...... 
Maybe I didn't erase it.
Clear up this deck, pick up new cards.
I need to play well to erase this scars
But why do I still have doubts??

“it’s been forever”

They say nothing lasts forever
They say seasons change but I see no change in this season
I see no smile, no back up file for this main file, meanwhile....  
The pain isn't getting extinguished
I thought this anguish will vanish 
But since happiness was banished from this entity, I have lost my identity


This little girl filled with hope for the unseen but still finds herself in a loop to the unknown.

She strives to be the one, that "one" that could have won but none of these matter anymore........
They say nothing lasts forever!
But it's been forever!!!!!

Left to ponder 2

Left to ponder
About why am not the one with the Golden thunder
About why I have to die to feel important
About so many reasons why I have a purpose.
Left to ponder about why I  can't see the heavens in my eyes without a mirror.
About so many known but unknown mysteries of life.
About why I have to take certain risks to be recognized.
Left to ponder on some questions that constantly drown my soul in wonder
Do I make a difference?
Am I gonna make that dream come true?
Is anyone reading this?
Maybe if dreaming big on a global perspective was a crime, then my mind wouldn't have to be constantly clouded with ideas, and my soul won't be drowned in wonder as am constantly left to ponder.