guilty pleasures

FEEL

I feel the deepest of regrets in the most memorable way
I feel the deepest of sadness in the most pleasurable way…
foresight becoming memorable insights.
never forgotten, never erased.
aftermaths of a bleeding love, painful pleasure…..
perfect play played perfectly…
when reality comes knocking,
fantasies become impossible occurrences blown into the wind.
I feel grief in love from a bleeding heart.
sanity threatening reality from a bleeding soul.
regrets worth experiencing one more time and maybe again……
I feel tortured love
this is reality worth escaping from……

She is danger craved for

she said everything would be fine
she said in a million years to come she would still choose the unexpected
she was such an easy to fall for type
she uses black magic
she confuses one with her killer smile
she makes the crowd and “him” go crazy
she’s quite toxic, everyone “wants” her thinks they “need” her
until they realize her toxic fumes spreads and cripples
she isn’t to be loved or tampered with
she isn’t what she thinks of herself
and neither is she what others think of her.
she is danger craved for.

Cut it off!
All lies!
Stop this pretence under this defense the only context of words you seem to compel me with.
It's bad but it's good
It's wrong but it's right
Your not supposed to do it, but your not supposed to trip either
Common!
It's the gaslighting for me!
You act like you care, and make me compare the obvious.
It's not like I'm oblivious of the fact that it's temporary.
It's temporary, but permanently creates a contemporary image in my mind.
Stop with the contemplating! 
But why do I still want you to consider it anyway??
You made this image
And now it doesn't seem to fade...... 
Maybe I didn't erase it.
Clear up this deck, pick up new cards.
I need to play well to erase this scars
But why do I still have doubts??