Tag Archives: empty hopes

From Nowhere

At this point, I’m not sure what to write about anymore. I’ve been battered, shattered, scattered… Life has been rough, tough, cruel with no fuel to carry me on.

My dreams, my passion, my zeal all lost to the the hands of inconsistency but this non-chalancy isn’t derived from the lack of will, not from the lack of inspiration, cause every experience comes with a dozen paragraphs package painted with pain prescribed to every word printed out, to every drop of ink flowing out from the pen that never runs dry….. Or so I said…..

This pen harbours stories wanting to be told so badly but lacks an initiating point, a prologue to sentences crafted from sincerity. So it stays pregnant with thousands of untold stories until it can’t contain no more, so i start from nowhere, hoping to get to somewhere, hoping to be heard, hoping you would decipher…..

H.M.B.P


With each step i take, i hope to get to the finish line to this dark tunnel of paranoia…
But each step seems to take me a mile backwards.
A magnetic pain I can’t seem to distance from.
lost confidence, plot twists i fail to understand.
I love happy endings, but this story’s “in media res” technique makes it look more like an advanced tragedy.
My pen wonders if its abandoned…
but the truth is i don’t wanna burn papers with brutality.
sorrounded by people but pain seems like my only home.
if time heals tell me why my clock is at a stand still.
healing never ends so I’ve learnt to find comfort and make a home in my brutal pain.


LOST DREAMS


If only things could be more clearer.
a broad explanation to these tears.
cause this time even my fears have been dethroned to a Lower tier of my pain.
betraying every last statement written down on this hearts manifesto.
with this mind working under a government overtaken by a coup, its a dictatorship, such a conundrum.
breathing, but just not living…
dating back to the uncivilized days before sir lord lugard freed us from the shackles of shattered dreams.
yet till this day i still can’t put together the pieces.
its like a puzzle, only that the pieces of mine seems to be lost in an ocean of apathetic passion.

FEEL


I feel the deepest of regrets in the most memorable way
I feel the deepest of sadness in the most pleasurable way…
foresight becoming memorable insights.
never forgotten, never erased.
aftermaths of a bleeding love, painful pleasure…..
perfect play played perfectly…
when reality comes knocking,
fantasies become impossible occurrences blown into the wind.
I feel grief in love from a bleeding heart.
sanity threatening reality from a bleeding soul.
regrets worth experiencing one more time and maybe again……
I feel tortured love
this is reality worth escaping from……


“REMINISCE”


I once wrote about my difference with so much confidence, undaunted and certain it was a unique one.
I once said I don’t listen to how people say the world works.
never knew I would be in a state of total give up. never knew I would be looking for the real me.
so?? I make odd choices.
so?? I look beyond the surface.
it’s cruel that society has made some certain ideologies, cultures crafted by what we consider “norms”
I want to be different.
I want to be recorded as the unique one.
stand out from the crowd,
dig out the truth to the surface.
repaint that wrong picture and show you why diamonds are rare and are found underneath the ground.
I want to be me, but society wants me to be a replica of humans,
play a role as part of the ideologically accepted human crafted culture.
I want to make a difference, discover, and explore but society is content with just the human routine achievements.

But what if I was made to achieve something much more than that?

“it’s been forever”

They say nothing lasts forever
They say seasons change but I see no change in this season
I see no smile, no back up file for this main file, meanwhile....  
The pain isn't getting extinguished
I thought this anguish will vanish 
But since happiness was banished from this entity, I have lost my identity


This little girl filled with hope for the unseen but still finds herself in a loop to the unknown.

She strives to be the one, that "one" that could have won but none of these matter anymore........
They say nothing lasts forever!
But it's been forever!!!!!